April 16, 2017. Morning.

As I laid in bed, my eyes remained closed. I was comfortable even though I was stickily warm from the hot and humid air. I really didn’t want to get up, especially since it was a dreaded day for me. I would be very content with staying here and listening to the light rainfall and the dying rattle of the recently busted AC…It sure beat celebrating twenty-two years of life. But, of course, with a twin like Ellen I would be forced to leave my comfort zone and go clubbing tonight. I could protest all I wanted but she’d drag me by my hair…literally.

The reality of my birthday hit me once Alejandro’s annual morning serenade of happy birthday could be heard echoing throughout the apartment, thanks to the thin and cracked walls, followed by Ellen’s giggling shortly after he had finished. With an annoyed groan, I rolled over and tightly closed my eyes. It was too early for this shit. As I laid there, I thought about my birthday wish. If I could wish for anything for my birthday what would it be? R-No. I didn’t really know. I hadn’t thought about it, but I guess more than anything I wanted to be wanted. Even if it was just for one day. I heard footsteps coming down the hall, they stopped outside my door and I sighed. Judging by the footfalls, it was Ellen coming to tell me the agenda for today.

“I’m up. Now shoo.” I didn’t mean to be bitchy, but I really wasn’t in a celebratory mood.
“Oh come on Lily.” Ellen’s voice was muffled by the door. “Don’t do this today.” I sat up and glared at the door, secretly hoping I got laser vision at that moment. I just wanted to be left alone. “Mama and Daddy gave you the weekend off so you could celebrate.” I heard a light thump on the bottom of my door, Ellen must’ve kicked it.
“Don’t kick my door!” My instant reaction was yelling at her, but I quickly calmed and stood with a defeated sigh. I pulled my robe over my undies and went to the door. “And no.” I opened the door and glared at her. “They gave me the weekend off because I asked for it.”
“Yeah…because they thought you’d want to go out. You need this Lily. I need this. It would just be me, you, and Kori. Lan works tonight, and Alejandro says it’s a girl’s night. Please Lily…this is my birthday wish.”
“Fine.” That was my final word on the subject. Would I bitch and moan about it later? Damn right, but until then…I would grin and go along with it because I loved my sister.

Ellen came into my room, and I closed my door. Then, she sat on my bed. “Oh! Mama told me to remind you that your dentist appointment is this afternoon. Why you want to get rid of the gap, I have no idea. But I told her I would go with you since she didn’t want you traveling on your own.” I had completely forgotten about the dentist today. The dental work and braces were a gift to myself. I hated the gap in my teeth ever since I was a child, and it was about time I fixed it.
“It’s something I need to do. It’ll help with my confidence issues. I mean, you of all people should know what it’s like to hate something about yourself so much that you changed it.” I didn’t want to compare my tooth gap to her sex realignment surgeries, but it was still along the same train of thought.
“I know, I know.” She nodded, I was relieved that she understood. “You do you. I’ll just miss your cute little tooth gap. It’s another reminder that we are twins, ya know?”
“Fixing a tooth gap won’t change that fact. We shared a womb. You came out 26 minutes after me, and we were equally tiny, bloody, and scream-y messes.” Her face paled, and I laughed. Ever the squeamish one, Ellen was.
“Ew. I did not need that image after eating.”

“Speaking of food, what did your mister make? It smells really good.” The days when Alejandro cooked were my favorite days. The apartment often smelled like spices and herbs whenever he cooked, and it reminded me of the good days — the days when my grandma was still alive, and I still had my best friend.
“Breakfast scramble with peppers and mushroom. He set aside some spicy ground sausage if we wanted it. Lan’s home so-”
“Right. I love Lan but jeez, we’re like…accidental vegetarians now. I miss sushi…I would kill for some nigiri right now.”
“Maybe tonight we’ll go to that sushi place you like. You know, the one in the fashion district.” The memories of that place flooded my mind. That was mine and R-my ex’s favorite hangout spot. I shook my head.
“No. I’m not ready yet.” I felt her hand on my back, rubbing in comforting circles.
“Then I’ll have Alejandro go and bring home some nigiri. My birthday gift to you.”
“Thank you. I would love that. But until then…I need some of that breakfast scramble.” I pushed Ellen playfully off of my bed. “Out. I need to get dressed.” When Ellen left, I could have easily gone back to sleep, but I didn’t. Instead I sat there and thought about what I really wanted for my birthday. I did want to be wanted, but not by anyone. I wanted to be wanted by Ren. Even after three years, I was still a mess.

Changed sex reassignment surgeries to sex realignment surgeries because I like the sound of it better.
Changed four years to three years in the last sentence because I forgot the timeline.


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